


Clint Barton x Reader ~ Wrong side of heaven

by Nightwalkerin



Category: Avengers, Marvel
Genre: F/M, Reader-Insert, Reader-Interactive, XReader, xYou, you - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-16
Updated: 2015-08-16
Packaged: 2018-04-15 01:30:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4587924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightwalkerin/pseuds/Nightwalkerin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hope you like it :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Clint Barton x Reader ~ Wrong side of heaven

**Clint Barton x Reader ~ I'm on the wrong side of heaven**

**_Monsters don't sleep under your bed. They sleep inside your head..._ **

****

"Greetings from S.H.I.E.L.D.", you say without emotions before you pull the trigger. The H.Y.D.R.A agent deserves the death. The man killed innocent people and your colleagues. It's an easy job to be an assassin. Find your target and kill it. This routine worked already for years, but today is something different.

"Daddy?!", suddenly a little boy stands in the room with tears in his eyes. Shocked you take a step back and almost fell over the dead body. "Daddy! Why did you kill him?!", the boy wants to know crying. "The target has a son! Why didn't you tell me this, Phil?!", you ask the agent through your headset.

"It wasn't necessary. He is a witness. You have to kill him", your heart skips a beat. It's alright if you kill H.Y.D.R.A agents, because they are dangerous. How are you supposed to kill a little boy? You raise your arm and point your gun at the boy. "I can't...", you whisper and leave the apartment through the window. It isn't his fault that his father was a killer.

 

_I spoke to god today and she said that she's ashamed what have I become_

_What have I done_

 

On the roof of the house you need a few moments to breathe. With a sigh you run your fingers through your hair. You would never forget the sadness in this innocent eyes of the little boy. His world is ruined and you are the reason why. "What have I done? Oh my god! I killed his father! What if the boy has no mother? What if he is alone now?", you ask yourself in despair.

"It was your mission, (Y/N). You are an assassin and work for S.H.I.E.L.D. What have you expected?", Phil says through the headset. Anger fills you from your head to your toes. "That's your fault! That's S.H.I.E.L.D's fault!", you blame the agent. "You have killed his father", is the truth. Your head is empty and you feel dull inside. "How many fathers and mothers have I killed already?", you want to know even if you already know the answer. "Too many to count."

 

_I spoke to the devil today and he swears he's not to blame and I understood_

_'cause I feel the same_

All these years you have thought that you do something good. You kill the bad guys to protect the innocent people, but you don't believe this lie anymore. S.H.I.E.L.D. always said the agents deserved the death. Is this true? The world you know doesn't exist anymore. There is only one person who understands you maybe. Your only friend. Without a word you throw the headset from the roof. There is no way you would kill again for S.H.I.E.L.D.

Like a maniac you knock on the door of Clint's apartment. Finally after a few minutes the archer opens the door. His hear is messy from sleeping and he is shirtless, but you don't care in this moment. As fast as you can you hug your friend tightly. "Hey, (Y/N). What's wrong? Don't you have a mission?", his head already works even if his body is still sleeping.

Tears appear in your eyes. "I killed a father today. His son saw his dead body and I was supposed to kill him like his father. I couldn't do it. I ruined the live of this little boy", you start to ramble and stumble over your own words. Clint almost can't understand what you are saying.

"Take a deep breath. Everything is going to be alright", he tries to cheer you up, while he wipes your tears away. You take a little step back to look at him. "Nothing is going to be alright again! Do you understand what I have done today? I'm a monster!", you exclaim almost yelling. Every time you close your eyes longer than one second you see the eyes of the little boy. He glares at you and blames you for his father's death. Everything is your fault.

"You are shocked and confused. We are killers. That's what we are trained for. We have to do it to protect the innocent people. They never know what we do, but we keep them safe. That's the important thing. We are heroes and killers at the same time?", the archer replies honestly. It's not what you want to hear at all.

 

_Arms wide open_

_I stand alone_

_I'm no hero and I'm not made of stone_

_Right or wrong_

_I can hardly tell_

_I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell_

Slowly you shake your head, while you take a few steps back. "No, I'm no hero. I can't understand how you live with the blood of your hands. I never wanted to kill a father or mother. To be honest I never wanted to be an assassin. I thought I hunt the people who gave their lives for H.Y.D.R.A., but some of them have families. The little boy... Apparently I never wanted to see the dark side of my job and S.H.I.E.L.D.", you say before you

turn around and make your way on the roof again.

 

_I heard from god today and she sounded just like me  
What have I done and who have I become_

 

The bright moon and the stars always calmed you down. Even Clint left you alone with your sorrow. He doesn't understand what's going on in your head and heart. "What have I done? I never wanted to be this person I'm right now", you talk to yourself.

Of course Clint follows you, because you are the most important person in his life. "(Y/N), listen. I know you are suffering right now. You are not a monster. It was a complicated situation and the H.Y.D.R.A. agent would have not hesitate to kill you. I'm happy that you are the first one who pulled the trigger. I never said a word, but I really like you", the archer confesses his feelings.

A sigh escapes your mouth. "It doesn't make this situation easier for me, Clint. I'm still a murderer. The boy is alone now. His father died, because I wanted to do the right thing. How can I call myself a hero when I destroy families and lives?", you look at the ground. Maybe you find there an answer for all of your questions. Unfortunately there is just a puddle.

 

_I saw the devil today and he looked a lot like me  
I looked away and I turned away_

 

You can't recognize your own face anymore in the water. It's like you look at a stranger or at the devil. Maybe both in one person. With a sigh you turn your head away. Now you are sure that you are the devil. "(Y/N), give me a chance to show you that you are not a murderer. We can fix everything together, right?", Clint doesn't give up and comes closer.

Softly he wraps you up in his arms. "How can you fix a destroyed life? I'm not even sure if I want to get fixed. It's my fault and I have to bear the sorrow alone", you reply mumbling, while the archer strokes your head. "Don't say something like that. We always get through everything together. There is always a way. Everything is going to be alright again", Clint knows how to cheer you up with a few words, but today it doesn't work. Today is something different.

 

 _I'm not defending downward descending falling further and further away getting closer every day_  
I'm getting closer every day to the end to the end the end of the end  
I'm getting closer every day

With a slight smile you press your lips against his, while a lonely tear escapes your eye. "I'm sorry, Clint. Nothing is going to be alright ever again. There is no way out of this. I don't belong into heaven. My right place is in hell", you push him away from you. The pain in your heart will never end. You know only one way to end the pain forever.

"NO!", Clint tries to grab your hand, but the archer is too slow. You fall from the roof still smiling. The feeling from falling is overwhelming you. No pain, no fault, no crying, nothing. The darkness welcomes you as the life runs out of your body. You are ready to claim your place in hell, because...

 

_You are on the wrong side of heaven_


End file.
